So cold...

I'm hopeful in the mornings, when the mercies are fresh and new.
But this coldness grows throughout each day, and I find sadness mounting as my defenses weaken towards evening.  I'm trying to be thankful for the days and years we've had, for the care that's been taken of me, and for the love that was there.

I miss love.
I miss warm eyes, hands, arms.

Something has broken badly, and there is no feeling there now, certainly not for me.
Oh, my Savior, Lover of my soul, please fill this empty coldness.
I just want some warmth back.

I think I know what has caused this...Genesis 3:16:

"Your desire will be for your husband,
    and he will rule over you."

The fall of humans into sin and rebellion has brought this desperate struggle between husbands and wives.  My temptation, my tendency to idolize, to NEED our relationship so desperately, and his ability to turn away coldly.  To deny me the very thing I'm destined to desire.

It's an ugly state of affairs, but common to man.  And now to me.

It's freezing cold here.